Picture Credit: Bruce Plante Cartoon, www.tulsaworld.com
All Content Copyrighted © 2007-2016 www.SaharahEve.com
To the cross-dressers and/or sissies who have written to us over the past month— thanks for sharing with Me your stories and perspectives on the blog entry Through Knowledge Comes Compassion. Your information will be vital to those who will be reading the book. Because I’ve received so many emails, I’ve decided to dedicate one of My phone lines to this issue.
Ps. And to the naughty sissies who left “very” detailed emails regarding your “sissy escapades”: I now have a myriad of ideas to choose from thanks to you, lol!____________________
(If there are any Mistresses seeking a sweet, 20-something year old sissy, kindly email Me for his details.)____________________
Photo taken while on vacation with a private slave. An aberration— but I keep My promises. Many of you wished to see some. *smiles____________________
2016 Female-Led holiday party is around the corner. For details, kindly get in touch with Me via niteflirt, or write to My slaves if You would like to attend with Your slave. (These parties are always private, i.e., no cameras allowed.) Hope to see you there!
On another Note: For all you kinky, light and sensual BDSM players (and the hard players who also enjoy the lighter side of BDSM play) the new sequel to 50 Shades of Grey is coming out! 50 Shades Darker! Oooh la la!____________________
Below is an email I received a while back. He’s from Europe. If this is you, call Me on Niteflirt—I’m seeking a new slave, or, as I prefer to call them: “horse” – – if you’re still unkept and can move to Northern America. (Men: take note— this applies to you too.)
And, thank you for the compliments. *smiles
Before stepping into the shower, I decided I’d have some amusement at my towel boy’s expense. “Amusement” is a bit of a one-way door in My world, often meaning a physical ordeal of some shape or form on the male’s part, and at the time, I felt like busting his balls with My feet. Balls—those dumb, delicate and vulnerable orbs in a fleshy sack—tend to garner my wrath more often than not. I suppose being cruel to them is a personal fetish of Mine! There really never has to be a rhyme or reason for dishing out that sort of comeuppance for being male in my realm; it’s a foregone conclusion. And of course I made him grovel afterward. It’s good, being Queen. 🙂
For many Female Domination is only a spicy, literary fantasy, a fetishistic pastime, a game. For others, it is as real and serious as life can get because it is their life. But literary or artistic fantasy can be an effective tool to depict something very real just as humor can be a subtle way of addressing deep questions. This is precisely the motivation behind Nanshakh’s choice when setting his Female Supremacist saga in a diesel-punk style sci-fi universe, a story purporting an ancient civilization of wise and powerful Women spreading their empire over the Galaxy, unstoppable in their quest to subjugate entire planetary systems one after another to eventually eradicate all remnants of patriarchal barbary. Here the narrative does not pretend at any form of realism. On the contrary, it is decidedly entrenched in a fantasy where alien worlds are copycats of our own, where aliens are disarmingly human and even speak English to conveniently dispense with translations. The deliberate choice to firmly entrench the narrative in an imaginary universe that is about as improbable and caricaturist as the technicolor sci-fi movies of the 1950s is not to relegate Female Supremacy to fantasy, but on the contrary to reflect freely on the hypothetical aspects of a multi millenary civilization of ruthless amazons. It would be pointless to attempt at a serious utopia of a Women-led empire when we are still loitering in a mostly patriarchal culture on our little planet. Instead, let’s choose fantasy and even at times humor to let our imagination wander freely on the mundane and anecdotal aspects of a world that would have always been radically and even ferociously Matriarchal.
“Judge tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.”
By: Traci Lea LaRussa
Source of photograph: theracecardproject.com____________________
Safe travels to My slave Nanshakh! 🙂
New blog writing entitled: What Draws Men Into Submission is available in the private Member Area.
[Snippet] “I would call the above “emotional servility”: to relish the very despotism that crushes one to ever more abject subservience. There is no denying it, servants need to feel the yoke on their necks. It legitimizes their existences.” [/Snippet]
There are slaves. And there are subs (pets).
The servant is not a pet and does not wish to become one.
It is the sub who is a pet. He gains entrance in the Keeper’s realm as a pet. He wants to be dommed, but as a good doggy. He’s always trading his submission and devotion for something in return. He wants to gain affection, recognition, and to slowly conquer space and importance. As a pet, he develops an affection relationship and gets ever more demanding and jealous.
That said, the servant humbly accepts to be kept low to the ground. Instinctively, even though servitude is hard and oppressive -and it is!- he welcomes it because it keeps him at his right place. If he were allowed to gain too much attention and care he might become a pet, and his servantry would dilute and fade imperceptibly. He would eventually get lost in the growing schism between his servantry and the affectionate and possessive relationship that would develop with his Keeper.
That’s why I usually prefer to compare the servant to a horse and not a dog. A horse loves his Keeper. He loves when She murmurs words to his ear. He loves when She pats him possessively. He is happy and welcomes Her when She comes to use him and mount him. But he humbly accepts to be led back to his stable. He doesn’t want to get into the house, to leap on a sofa and make it his reserved territory and not let anyone sit on it. He doesn’t howl and bark for hours because His Keeper has left him for the day. He doesn’t always whine for more attention. He is not always jealous.
The horse will always be a humble servant. The dog will always be a demanding sub, eternally trying to top from the bottom.
I don’t mean that to imply that a special attitude is expected from the Keeper. It’s not that there is a recipe which the servant must be whipped and degraded on a set pattern. It all subtly depends on who the Keeper is. A Keeper can use a servant for whatever She needs him—even to have dinner, make love to him, or go to sleep in his arms when She feels like it. It’s something in Her attitude that will always let the servant know that whatever She might be demanding of him, his place will always remain in the stable. And, he will never hold property on the couch in the living room or on Her bed, lol.
There’s the same difference between subby players and servants as there is between Women who were born Keepers, and others who want to play at dominating, simply seeking fun in a game that could evolve into a vanilla relationship. The born Keeper might fancy treating a servant like a lover or go out with him as She would with a friend but there will be this certain something in Her that will leave no room for ambiguity. She will always be the Keeper and he the servant. Whatever She does, there will be no doubt She is using Her servant because of Her own whim of the moment, knowing the servant will have to bend and adapt to it. Conversely, the player Domme will remain in a complacent relationship based on trading, and she will be concerned with Her hubby-sub’s expectations.
Resolve to be tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving, and
tolerant of the weak and the wrong.
Sometimes in life you will have been all of these.
~ Lloyd Shearer____________________
Nice to see FemDom in mainstream culture! Despotic FemDom Wife certainly has a pain-slut hubby!
Forgive Me for being so late; I was away— far, far away.
Happy father’s day to all the great dads, step-dads, dads-to-be, dads-wannabees, and acting dads! Thanks for being great dads and spreading those quality genes!
I saw a man holding his Daughter at an outing. The love beaming from his eyes was too irresistible not to share on Father’s Day!
(This writing is not intended for men content with paying money to a Professional FemDom for the chance to role play a slave. Rather, it is for men who are looking to serve a Woman in a choice-based M/s relationship— outside a “fee or video-for service” exchange.)
What’s sometimes portrayed as a FemDom personal relationship is in reality a product. Men reiterate feeling confused by what they perceived initially to be a FemDom personal relationship and what ended up being a “fee for service” dynamic. For the men looking for something beyond commercial domination a new blog is coming soon regarding ways to tell if you’re heading into a fee-for-service relationship.____________________
In honor of the heros who have lost their lives in service… Thank you for the sacrifices you have made to defend freedom and democracy.____________________
A very Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms, Moms-to-be, acting Moms and Step Moms!
“A Mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
By: Tenneva Jordan
Mathematics is the language of science. It’s the language of all sciences actually as it meshes with other scientific disciplines and sub-disciplines. We use it to help dissect, solve and explain everything in our Universe: regularities, rhythms, patterns… Math is the essence of everything and it shows up in nature, constellations, art, music, ripples in water, music, etc.
The petals in daisies, for example —in all the various types, are part of math’s Fibonacci numbers!
(Some question whether Math is a universal truth, the foundation of everything. Did humans simply invent Math? Or is Math a discovery? Are numbers a platonic reality whether humans are here to conceptualize them or not? A reality totally on its own? Hmmmmmm. ;-P)____________________
A new blog entry (with photos) answering the question: “What is the most important interview question a Mistress can ask a new slave?” may be read in the Private Journal of the Member Area.
Shout out to all the youtube.com people who are so kind to upload “How To” video tutorials. Your time and generous effort is well-needed by those who would not otherwise have the money to hire a professional. Kindness goes a long way!____________________
… The type of “servitude” found in this situation lacks inner significance as there is no intended consciousness of union with the Woman. See the rest of this article in Member’s Area – Private Journal.____________________
Sending out a warm thanks to all the bighearted fellas who helped Me finance tonight’s Christmas Party for the Children. It was a success: the Children loved the pizza and presents. 🙂 Below is a picture. Due to privacy regulations I can only show Myself (Mrs. Clause). Mr. Clause had an unexpected toy convention and thus was unable to attend. Maybe next year!
Happy Holidays Everyone! And, remember to give a little back, if you can…
The best Christmas gift for your snow-cone addict loved-one, or anemic or PICA loved one for that matter. 🙂
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Holidays Everyone!____________________
I have two Fem-Dom referrals for all you fans. I hope you enjoy!
1) Thomas LaValle’s steamy FemDom novel!
You can buy it here: Dancing Backward
2) Wonderful new artwork and trilogy updates to Nanshakh website!
ps. Some has asked whether I was a Fem-dom author who publishes books under a male pen-name (some men write under Female names). The answer is No: I’m not affiliated with any books, blogs, seminars, instructional materials, etc.
I was away visiting friends during the Thanksgiving holiday and unfortunately have missed the opportunity to express things I am grateful for. I am thankful for the simple things such as food, clean water and shelter. We forget that these basic essentials are absent in many people’s lives and to have them at our beck and calls is truly a blessing. With regard to Female Supremacy in a Female-led home, the easiest way to convey what I am thankful for is to simply present a picture. I thank Mother Earth for all the slaves, both past and present, who have ever served Me. 🙂____________________
Thank you to all Military persons who have sacrificed their lives for the United States of America. That you risk your precious lives to support those waging these heinous wars is more than any of them deserve. They, and I thank you for your bravery and we honor each and every one of you. To all those who are victims of war, I’m sorry; there are simply no words. I salute you all.
In this sad world of ours sorrow comes to all and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible except with time. You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it will make you less miserable now. I have had enough experience to make this statement.”
By: Abraham Lincoln
Please consider helping our wounded Veterans by making a donation or monthly monetary commitment (with whatever amount you can afford) to the Wounded Warrior Project.
Have scientists devised a way for Women to conceive children without any male sperm? Interestingly, but not surprisingly, using this method to get pregnant, a Woman would only produce Daughters. My thoughts posted inside the private Journal.____________________
There is a certain freedom found in slavery; a freedom a slave could never have attained otherwise. A simple yet essential truth is slaves are freed from themselves; they are absolved of the shortcomings that have adulterated their previous lives. Including jealousy? See private journal entitled: Jealously and Unconditional Love.____________________
Thank you to everyone who sent a Happy Birthday wish to Me. 🙂 To those that asked, thank you – yes, you can always send an Amazon E-Gift card to My email; I never turn down a gift! Use firstname.lastname@example.org.
And yes, you may also use an Amazon Gift E-card to speak with Me on the phone if you do not want to go thru My advice line on NF. Just use the same email address above and someone will email you details.
To all those that responded to the Female-Led Relationship private party invite – – yes, the party is private, meaning absolutely no cameras allowed. Sorry.
Have a great rest of the summer.
As readers familiar with My site know, I’m not one to “play” at slavery. In My interpersonal relationships, I take the word “slave” quite literally. Voluntary slavery and psychological bondage, with Me, is as real as real gets. It is important to understand the differences between choice-based slavery and the recreational diversions that seem to look like it at a passing glance. This is not a game to dismiss with a word or cast aside at a whim. Incorporating 24/7 servitude into a Female-led relationship takes insight, time, and patience. Once established, it is, in My view, a most intellectually and sexually satisfying form of human intimacy. That said, it is equally important to mention that slavery in a Female-led based relationship can be MUNDANE – like ordinary life and has many things that have nothing to do with sex. For those looking for steamy, kinky sex everyday, you may want to look elsewhere. Yes, there are moments of explicit eros, and sensual, nuanced things the camera never shows (most of which I choose not to share). As I have written several years back, slavery is a state of being; it is a Way of Life, from morning to evening. It encompasses the entire spectrum of human existence and is not fleshed out merely in fantastical scenes.____________________
If you’re an environmentally conscious person who cares about reducing our impact on the environment, please consider supporting The Cleaner Earth Project.
The Cleaner Earth Project is a non-profit, eco-friendly mom-and-pop retailer who specializes in the manufacture of environmentally-friendly products with a specialty in reusable plastic shopping bags and recycling bins. With your support, this dedicated, family-operated retailer can continue their work to protect our Earth.
Thanks in advance!
In My world, daily whippings, where slaves endure a set count of lashes each morning, are an integral part of a Female-Led household. Through enduring this physical suffering, the male is forced to kneel and manifest his love and devotion, offering up his flesh to his Goddess so that he may be reminded of his station beneath Her. This is an exercise that reduces egocentric attachments to things and ideas that do not benefit Me. I make it undeniably clear that a male is to worship Me with absolute conviction. Since his existence is to serve Me henceforth, annihilating his ego and worldly attachments ensures he is better focused upon Me and My goals.____________________
Hey, there. Yup, I’m talking to you, dear hetero-normative male reader who happened to have wandered here to My blog.
You know, I truly respect the fact that you’re interested in Female dominance, if even to read about it in the vicarious medium that is the Internet. But do you want to know what I respect even more? I’ll tell it to you straight: it’s the fact that you’re a fire-breathing, red-blooded male who feels a craving for (or even a curiosity in) truly kneeling at the feet of a Woman.
I wouldn’t want you to think the entirety of Femdom is a fetish industry with legions of pretty sissies, cross dressers, transsexuals, cuckolds, and otherwise closeted gay men who seek intermediary Mistresses to indulge them in a veiled love affair with all things phallic. Hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, fantastic; variety is what makes life interesting. I speak only for Myself and I’m not here to say there’s only one true way to enjoy Female dominance. There’s an army of shiny, scintillating, fun professional Dominatrices who, with zeal and aplomb, support the industry that Femdom has become. Not every Woman seeks the light of that stage, however.
In My personal world, a man wanting to serve doesn’t have a secret desire to be a sissy and dress in panties, garter belts, wear makeup, and then be called every degrading word known to humanity, because, hey, he’s actually not an inverted misogynist. Seriously, many (though not all) are! You also don’t have to be secretly gay or want to be emasculated or cuckolded. All you want to do is live purely in your maleness—to work for the approval and pleasure of your ideal Alpha Female, a Woman who naturally knows how to and enjoys making your inner gears tick. So, guided by these desires, you look for a Woman who may encapsulate them…and you look… and you look. But your search leaves you a little twitchy, scratching your head, and sometimes just closing out your browser in quiet disgust. Between closeted gay men pretending to be submissive, “human ATMs”, self-berating “losers,” infantilists, cross dressers, self-identified sissies, cuckolds, and all other permutations of personalities in between that seek roundabout ways to get pegged (literally or figuratively, lol), you find yourself feeling more than just a little alienated by it all.
I want you to know that there are Mistresses in the world who like you for who you are and what you’re looking for. Truth be told, a smart, heterosexual submissive man who truly appreciates and adores Women—a man who isn’t just caught up in fetishes—is what many dominant Women are looking for. Yes, many professional Dominatrices advertise in glossy ads and websites about their love of “transformation,” sissification, and feminization. They give you a menu of their services for you to peruse in the event you’d like to pay for a session. But in the secrecy of their hearts, what do dominant Women want? Often, it’s the same as most vanilla Women, I would assert: being loved and revered as the most important force in the world to the men they feel strong affinities to. Having all his masculine powers at Her fingertips, to control his libidinous energies, draw sustenance from them, and feel protected by his undying love…this is where it’s truly at for the Female of our species.
Don’t get Me wrong. Sissies and the like are amusing and entertaining. I’ve even partaken of that amusement Myself. But effeminate men are not what all Women want, especially as consensual slaves. So for the man looking for something more beyond the dystopia that is the Internet’s fetish industry, take heart in knowing that what sells isn’t necessarily what jells with every dominant Female in the long run. Beyond the common memes and the ephemeral psychodrama of popular fetish role play acting, there are other worlds that wait patiently for you to arrive upon their shores. Authentic dominant Females are much like islands wreathed in mist on a vast ocean. Getting to Us requires a pure vision and some good navigation, but like all things in life, that which is worthwhile cannot be attained without some measure of effort, patience, and a little pain.
So, stay the course, “Mr. Normal.” Don’t feel like you have to fit into any of the popular molds that the fetish industry has carved out for you; there’s a place for everyone here. Hold out for that Woman who sees your worth as a man and commands you to kneel at Her feet—a Woman who will find comfort in your servitude and who will have no fear of what lies before Her in life because She has you behind Her. She won’t want to virtually remove your man-part or degrade your maleness. She’ll want to augment your maleness, in fact, so that your bestial tractability, your masculine energies, and sexual drives are aligned with Her and serve only Her. That, to Me, at least, is the true essence and function of Female dominance.____________________
A Mistress in a Female-led household doesn’t have to give consideration to the sexual excitement of Her slaves. I prefer to ignore the urges, pleas and hard-ons of My slaves until I’m in the mood to use them for My own pleasures or amusements. This will seem grim to many males, particularly those that frequent Pro Dominatrices, I realize. However, in My world, the ignoring, the longing and the desperation incurred is the yoke that pulls My slaves deeper into Me. I know their urges are there—I don’t need to check. It’s obvious to see that they fall over themselves in their sexual frustrations while around Me, following Me like eager dogs, and I like it that way.
But each slave under Me must tread carefully with the ways in which he manifests his zeal, for I find male sexuality beneath My contempt until I deign to take interest in it at My time and choosing. Otherwise, the male is to suffer in quiet, sweet, throbbing anguish, and isn’t allowed to ever bring himself to climax, of course. Males who conspire to do so never take up the idea again when they experience the punishment that results. This is a deliberate prison for male sexual energy—a mental prison of enforced chastity, the design of which rouses male desire, augments it, and harvests its exuberance, rechanneling the increasingly obsessive and mindless focus upon sex and converting it into obedience, devotion, and labor. This is the unspoken dance in the world of Femdom.
High resolution photos accompanying this blog entry can be found inside the members-only Private Journal.____________________
Dear Ms. Saharah Eve:
(Original publication 2014/10/17)
I have been following your website now for several months and I wanted to let you know how impressed I am with it. I spoke with you once on Niteflirt but a lot of background noise made it impossible to speak with discretion. I really appreciate your patience with me. This is probably going to sound weird this day and age but as a submissive male I have been finding it very hard to find Women online who do this in real life. I’ve been promised real time meetings after having spent considerable time trying to vet myself to on-line Dominas and professionals. I’m sorry if that offends with consideration to your female supremacist views but it’s a reality I have had to admit to. Women like yourself are not easy to find. I am getting weary of dealing with Dominas playing the part to make money and leading you on to believe you can one day become something more than a internet sub. I don’t have a problem with this per se, but I want something real. They turn out to be online dominants only and I am afraid it is making me bitter and cynical about the whole thing. I truly believe in a female led relationship. Being under the control of a Woman who likes in being a leader and leading Her man to be a better person must have led me to search for this.
I hate feeling like this, but I feel like getting acquainted with yet another woman who seems to understand submissive males will only result in more disappointment. How do I stop this from happening to me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I looking in the wrong places?
Frustrated and confused,
For some time now I’ve noticed something peculiar in the pop culture of female dominance—something that appears to be growing as the mainstream accepted fetish play du jour and the adult industry catches up in service to it. That “thing” is the tendency in businesses to capitalize, simply, on what’s desirable. I see it in every area of the market today from fashion design to big tech. If a celebrity wears something flashy it’s not long before everyone has to have it, too. When Apple comes out with a slick new desktop model or phone design, many computer companies attempt to emulate the look. Following what’s hot and trendy is effective in getting attention and then success—however short-lived that success may be. It’s always been like that: where there are a few originators, there are many, many more wagon jumpers who say, “me too!” They mimic and emulate.
And I find it’s no different in the world of Female dominance or “Femdom,” sorry to say, and that’s a bit of an understatement. Even writing the word “Femdom” feels…weird to Me, not because of the literal contraction it represents but rather the consumable caricature unto itself that it has become and the confusion it creates. This is My opinion and I don’t intend to offend anyone. I see Women on the internet dressed up in fetish Mistress attire, domestic teacher clothing, studded leather, etc., but how does a man such as you decipher whether it’s merely a role? Does it really represent styles of choice, or is it simply a temporary necessity? I’m recognizing that there is a lot of performance art and top-service fantasy play bound up in the phrase “Femdom.” So much that’s about all the phrase represents now, sadly. And add to that the commercial efforts of sex workers, cam college Girls, internet Princesses, Pro-Dominatrices, etc., who play a Femdom to make a little extra money off to the side for college, etc., and you can see how hard it can be for the average male, who is looking for something beyond the temporary, to sift through. And just to make this a little more confusing, this is not to say that I think a Woman who capitalizes on male interest is, by default, a sham. It is instead to say that a man looking for a dyed-in-the-wool potential Mistress has to be able to observe Her closely and consider Her message and Her true character first before devoting his time and energy into Her. Observation skills have to be on point, for the ability to beguile is getting easier with modern technology in this connected world of cut and paste plagiarism and casual intellectual property theft. Anyone can build a blog in minutes, open up a social networking account here and there, post a few hot selfies, and presto: a newly minted Princess, Mistress, Domme, Humiliatrix, Goddess, etc. is born.
I realize that it’s a fact of nature beauty does interesting things to men from middle school and up and Women tend to know this. When a man sees a Woman he thinks is beautiful, he is projecting himself unto her, where he can immediately build her up in his mind without knowing much about Her. Many guys skip past the bios and go right for the galleries once the word “Mistress” is appended before a Woman’s stage name. Many men use the potential of a Woman’s body to serve their own fetishes as a basis for wanting to “serve” Her. For these men the fantasy-play is where their submission begins and ends.
But what about a man who wants to deeply consider the message of each Woman and approach only those who appear to have the taste and understanding necessary to truly enslave him? The “culture” of fetish has become a commercial land where easily beguiled prey are constantly reinforcing the dysfunction of the market they support. In such a realm, there is no intention of bringing slavery to any tangible level of reality: it’s a continuum of fantasy and hedonistic transactions and, sadly, little more than that.
From countless conversations with men seeking dominance beyond play, I can see how this creates a hoard of cynical and dispossessed men. Their cynicism often becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, too: the more jaded they become to the notion of serving a Woman the more rigidly self-defeating their prospects of finding the real deal becomes. It permeates their judgment and colors the way they see any Woman who holds a whip or calls Herself a Mistress.
Some probably glance at My online presence and its imagery and they assume they know what they’re seeing based upon everything else they’ve seen before. They may focus on how I benefit materially from My sensual nature and penchant for owning men, even engaging in some fetish activities with them, but if an observer would look a little further into Me he will find a stark dissonance between what I do compared to the per-hour commercial venture of a cam college Girl or Pro Domina. Talk to many professional Dominas and I’m sure one can quickly realize that many of them (but to be fair, not all) consider what they do as strictly a business, and a business often kept neatly away from the rest of their lives, at that. The Women are certainly skillful and beautiful. Their photos are alluring and ads are glossy. The things they say are calculatingly “on” for the clientele they seek to attract. But to the man seeking something more, asking how many actually live this way of life after the sessions are over or the camera stops rolling is a question worth asking. It’s a deceptively simple question to ask. At first, the bar set with this question seems easy enough to reach. “Well, I happen to be a personal friend of Mistress so-and-so and I know she has slaves in real life.” one might answer.
Yes, yes. Ho hum. But really…how many are actually doing this in real life, 24/7? How many have s-l-a-v-e-s? Such questions matter to the more serious seekers looking to embrace the realities of slavery beyond temporary escapism and role play.
This question has more than one dialectological onionskin to patiently peel away. It seems there’s often a strange sort of sub-culturally reinforced wink and nod that’s shared among those supposedly in the know, but it’s really a mirror house of semantics one steps into when he asks that pure question with the hope of a pure answer. The docile, prurient hubby of that Mistress So-and-So who accompanies Her to fetish events in matching latex does not, by definition, make him a slave by any stretch of the imagination, nor does the weekender she has off to the side who has a “house cleaning fetish” and later likes to be strung up naked and pelted with tomatoes in the back yard—though many would ignorantly consider him a “slave,” too. The simple truth is that 999 times out of 1000, these men aren’t slaves, and if you listen to their personal philosophies where slavery is concerned (if they are so kind enough to share them), this becomes apparent enough through their own words. The depth of their understandings, of how far they take the concepts of slavery and apply them with any dash of seriousness in their own lives might as well amount to theory stitched in intellectual silly string. It is, more often than not, an adult game at play and the popular imagery we associate with it is in service to the fantasies that fuel them. Saying this too loudly might ruffle feathers, but what is true isn’t always easy for people to accept and I won’t apologize for speaking the truth.
And lest there be any doubt, I don’t have any problem with casual D/s; I can appreciate the fulfillment it provides. Neither do I have a problem with internet Princesses, FinDoms, Pro Dominas, etc. I give professionals, both on-line and real-time, every bit of respect they deserve. What I do have an issue with is the mingling of terms: how uncool it has become to refer to oneself as a submissive rather than a slave, when submissive or even “bottom” would be far more accurate. Blurred lines only serve to confuse those seeking slavery. The same goes for some Professionals, too: it has become uncool to admit you’re into service topping males and that you charge a fee for it. The hypnotic assertions and truisms that justify the role playing sound so good to a great many people who like erotic games, but this allows a vast number of men (and Women) to coast unthinkingly along. Slavery isn’t a big deal, right? It’s just a part-time gig at a dungeon or a thing I do on the weekends. I mean, slavery isn’t actual slavery, right? Think again. Consensual slavery is the biggest form of human commitment there is and a Saturday night out in hot fetish regalia does not put you any closer to embracing reality than furries do in dressing up as horses and lions at other kin conventions.
So perhaps I’m preaching to the choir and you may understand all of that. Your prevailing question may simply be how to spot the bologna more easily. To this, I can offer the following advice to those like you who are searching for something a little more than fantasy role-playing.
(Original post: 2014/09/06)
Some time ago I had a tried-and-true system that filtered out the sincere from the not-so-sincere men, the weekend ass-slappers from the knights on quests, and the authentic servant-minded from the randy would-be clients looking for call girls with whips. Before that system, the floods of emails coming in from men looking to, ahem, “serve” were (let’s be nice and avoid the expletives) 98% nonsense. I knew there were many more men in the world with an authentic interest in the experience of truly serving a Woman and not to simply engage in a wink-and-nudge game of paying pro-Dominatrices to pretend they were their Mistresses for as long as the session checks cleared.
The latter problem has turned more into a sort of “Femdom epidemic” today and part of its cause isn’t always the fault of the men, either.
There is an awful lot to filter for the average newbie on the Internet, from college Girls looking to make some money off to the side to fetish Celebrities who hustle without any conscience or even partial remorse for the terms and ideas that are being twisted to suit their commercial agendas. In the world of the pro-Dominatrix, “slave” is typically another word for “client” and “serving” is nothing more than a catchphrase for scheduling a session. Men see this tripe regurgitated over and over until words—serious words that actually should mean things—mean little to nothing at all.
So yes, the state of Femdom can sometimes be a train wreck often leading to profound misunderstandings. As such, the state of knowing what a Mistress actually is and what slavery means tends to be a similar train wreck. With that in mind, it seems more important than ever to filter out the emails I receive. I can not be expected to keep up with the increasing numbers of men thinking that having foot fetishes makes them slaves, lol.
So men, from here on, the only way to possibly appeal to serving Me is to go through a rigid series of steps that I will outline in My Audience Guide. The Audience Guide will not be free, of course. Every man who decides to attempt reading the contents of this guide will be expected to part with some green. That’s right. And for those of you who are already moaning, you’re dismissed. 🙂
For those still reading, you can mosey on over to My Contact Page where I provide more details about how to obtain this guide. Before you even think about doing so, however, I ask you to be honest with yourself. If you’re looking for a fetishist or pro-Domme (Dominatrix), please don’t bother. There are many beautiful, exciting, skilled Pros out there who would be perfect for your interests, but I’m certainly not one of them. If you really know what a Mistress is and if you really think you have a handle on what consensual slavery actually entails, go get it, boys!____________________
Dear Ms. Saharaheve:
I’m a new, late 30’s male with limited r/l experience. I have lots of experience with pro doms and a brief relationship going back a while ago with a lady who liked to dominate me. Unfortunately she didn’t do a lot of the things pro doms did to me and I assumed she wasn’t a real dom. I’m kinda at fault because I was under many assumptions such as,
1. thinking all doms were ready to play with anyone 24/7
2. thinking Mistresses always walked around with all their war make-up on, hair all done up, fetish clothes on and in high heels 24/7
Yeah, pretty naive.
I started off thinking all I had to do was tell her my kinks and fetishes then poof she’d be interested in them. It didn’t last and off I went to join BDSM dating sites.
So many guys are hardwired to their sex drives and I’m wondering if you see a lot of men who think doms are wired to just hook up with anyone just because they like the same thing?
I’m older now and the sexual component is not as important to me as finding out what pleases her and making it happen.
No, Mistresses are not always dressed up in heels, make-up and sexy clothes 24/7. And neither do we walk around hoping to tempt all males into total submission. LOL. On a more serious note, I am glad you wrote. I have decided it is time to make a post about My personal opinions regarding online fantasy vs. real-life reality of Mistress and slave. For Me, writing this entry is a matter of intellectual conscience, for as I speak with many newbie males I have increasingly realized that something needs to be addressed about how “Mistresses” and “slaves” really interact in the real world. To cut to the chase, there is a vast curtain of adult commercial glitz and glamour in the industry that is Femdom, and unless an impressionable man knows otherwise, he can easily get caught up in the gilded illusions of fetish porn and the fantastical imagery of adult actress celebrities with whips. Imagery, mind you, that is beautifully and sensually designed to arouse—but says really nothing of the context of a relationship between a Woman and Her slave.
In the enormous continuum of media churned out by adult-porn studios, professional Dominatrices, and otherwise celebrity/would-be celebrity Dominas, we get to see a lot of sexy and erotic content, for sure. Oral sex, face sitting, anal penetration with strap-ons, or outright intercourse are things that seem as foregone conclusions with all this sexy “Mistress and slave” stuff. What many may fail to realize is that nearly 100% of the men featured in these images and films are paid adult actors and models (AKA hired “meat puppets”) for adult studios, and most of the Women featured in these images and films are paid adult actresses in fetish regalia that walk the walk and talk the talk under the guidance of a director. Anything beyond that often tends to be a dominant Woman and Her paying client or an intimate partner, whom She fully knows, playing the part of a “slave” online, engaging in sexual acts on cam, in photos or in movies with one fairly ubiquitous goal in mind: to procure the interests of more clients or customers. Not that there is anything wrong with good marketing, but we would never, for an instant, be so gullible as to assume the worlds presented to us in glossy magazine ads, commercials and movies are real, so why would we attribute reality to any of the media we see regularly presented by commercial studios and professional services online?
The simple point is we should not, for if we do we are liable to be a bit confused when the candy coated porn version hits the concrete of the real world and bloodies its nose. In reality, you may never, as a slave, have access to your Mistress as shown in all these movies. So, to avoid mincing words or droning on without getting to the point, let Me simply say the following: Being servile does not allow a male instant access to a Woman’s sex, Her dominance or even Her affection.
Unlike professional Dominatrices, a dominant Woman—much less a Mistress—is not obligated to serve your fetishes, your kinks, or your desires for romantic intimacy. The obligation and responsibility goes from man to Woman and slave to Mistress. That is really the entire point of Mistress and slave. Indeed, She may enjoy using him sexually and to Her satisfaction, but it is not a given that She will or must, and many of the would-be slaves out there really need to consider this deeply before jumping into the pool with too many assumptions. And the assumptions are pretty easy to have by way of imagery paraded before our eyes whenever we look up the words Femdom or Mistress and slave on the Internet or read about them in fantasy novels.
Looking at these many movies online acted out by professional Dominatrices and adult actresses, we get the sense that the Ladies are all fast and indiscriminate—that they are not all that picky about who they choose to allow to service them sexually, but the reality is almost always quite different. A Mistress is a Woman, a human being first and foremost. Her desire to dominate you, if it is authentic, is triggered by you, i.e., you are that inspiring incentive. She does not walk around with a deep seated passion to dominate any and all males. She is a human being, and like all human beings, context often informs Her interests in the sexual act. She must be attracted to a man first before wanting—truly wanting—to dominate him and engage in the deeper shades of sexual exchange with him. And when I say “attracted” I am not only speaking of the physical, but of the psychological, and, truth be told, the latter is more where it is at. A beautiful man can still be a blunt and ungainly ignoramus with no class or depth and without the right attitude he is not going to be very attractive to an alpha Female.
If a man wants to have that special privilege of serving his Goddess so intimately he needs to have the right stuff and that stuff can not be faked transiently. Outside of being an attractive and honorable man in general, he needs to prove himself through blood, sweat, and tears that he is there for Her and that he cares deeply for Her comfort and gain. Always loyal and eager to please Her, always there for Her and extending himself for Her, he will impart a sense of security and thus comfort Her immensely. But even this is not enough, necessarily, for a slave is expected to provide these things with or without sexual intimacy anyway. He can have many good qualities and still remain kept from tasting Her intimately. This should not be something that makes him quit at all. It should inspire him toward his servitude all the more. Indeed, slave labor sublimates sexual tension and drive but the slave himself may not ever be allowed access to Her at all…and this will only serve to tease and deliciously compel his slavery. Ideally he should come to see Her as an untouchable embodiment of the Feminine Divine, an entity he should feel lucky enough to simply be in the presence of alone, and should he be granted the privilege of kissing Her feet, it will be awe-inspiring and satiating alone.
But sex and sexual acts? These are never a given, as much as all the gobs of Internet movies like to lead one to think otherwise. As stated above, for as much as a man may have good qualities and perfect loyalty, that is not a guarantee he will be wanted intimately. All slaves must come before their potential Mistresses knowing this potential reality. If he does appeal to Her and he remains a devoted and all-consumed heel-licking slave for Her every whim, he may very well have the lofty pleasure and honor of pleasing Her. But never should the sexual act or Her sexual interest be taken for granted as the world of fetish porn seems so given to do.____________________