When it comes to humans, Mother Nature, in Her infinite wisdom, has decidedly favored the Female of the species. There is no doubt the Female is the superior gender. I know I am repeating Myself, I suppose that probably comes from being a human dog trainer and slave Keeper. I tend to repeat some basic truth so as to hammer them into the inferior brains of My slaves.
As She did with so many other species, Mother Nature obviously decided the Female would be Her heir, She would get the whole works, while the male would be somewhat disinherited, purposefully relegated to a limited, secondary role. An accessory of sort. Now I already mentioned Nature’s infinite wisdom, so let’s not doubt that Goddess Nature had Her own reasons for doing things that way. To start with, the preservation and transmission of life. There’s no doubt it’s been a success story so far.
As a consequence of being Mother Nature’s favored Daughter, we, Women, are blessed with so many remarkable qualities, as compared with our inferior partners. Well, let’s not be too harsh with the poor sods, but they are rather ill favored – and it shows. This is the result of the very limited, very basic role reserved to them in the grand scheme of things. Still, whatever their limitations, they are perfectly adequate for what they were originally intended for.
Basically, we, Women, are the laboratories and factories of Life. Our body is designed and fully equipped to assemble and decipher the blue print of life, pick up the basic raw material, and in hardly nine months, deliver the most sophisticated creature of the Universe. That is, if it’s a Girl, of course! 😀
Furthermore, we are also perfectly fit for all the maintenance work involved in bringing the initial larva to full development and adult form. And this is just looking at the biological aspect of things. All this to say: we, Females, are wonderful creatures. No wonder why the discerning male, when looking up at us, venerates us as Goddesses.
We are not only more sophisticated, but we are also more resilient, sensible, wise, and on the whole, more apt socially at creating and maintaining the best environment for the blossoming and perpetuation of life.
Yes, indeed! we, Women, rock! No doubt.
Naturally, I’ve kept the best for the end: we are beautiful. It’s simple: we are enchanting, lovely, and exquisitely seductive. Nature has crafted us using all Her most devious tricks with the obvious intent of making us totally irresistible. In fact, we are so ravishing that we do not only have the power to wrap males around our little finger, but we are even capable of provoking the admiration and desire of other Women. Feminine beauty has always been of such paramount importance to our species that it’s become a cult for men and Women alike, throughout the ages and civilizations. Of all times, artists, writers, poets have been obsessed by our grace, devoting their talents to the celebration of our incomparable qualities.
That said, if you ask Me, I think there’s nothing wrong with that state of things. I see clearly all the merits of Mother Nature’s designs and purposes in favoring so outrageously the Female of the species. I think She’s done a fabulous job with us, even if in comparison, one must admit She’s really botched it up with males. Not that it matters much. It is quite understandable that like any great artist, Nature got enthralled with Her chef d’oeuvre, neglecting blatantly the secondary gender in Her enthusiastic efforts for crafting Her masterpiece. As it is, the male still turns out to be rather decorative and entertaining as a pet, and very useful as a domestic slave and sturdy beast of burden. Just ask any Female slave Keeper.
I can’t help thinking that, after accomplishing so many miracles, after creating and evolving so many long lines of wonderful creatures, Nature obviously wanted to come up with a gem, the ultimate creation that would top an already stunning career: the Woman. The state of the art, absolute accomplishment amongst all life forms created so far. When it comes to perfection, look at us Women: Mission Accomplished. And yet, in the midst of all this praise for Nature in designing us Women, I would yet have to make one slight reservation, alas.
We are really quite perfect, except for that one tiny little detail: we are too small!
That is not in the absolute, but as compared to the male. On average, the Female of the species is just about 15% shorter, smaller, and yes, let’s admit it, in terms of raw muscle power: weaker!
Ah Mother Nature, sweet Goddess, Why, but Why? Let Me tell you this in undisguised terms: You flunked! To put it another way, Divine Mother Nature, Size DOES matter. You should have known.
Mother Nature’s intentions were excellent. Why not devolve to the otherwise extremely limited male of the species a good deal of physical power, so that he could carry our suitcases, open the door for us, and more generally speaking, build our houses, hunt for mammoths, and all those other boring, tedious, menial activities like ploughing, harvesting, raising cattle, digging at the bottom of the mines, carving stone in quarries, sailing on trawlers et tutti quanti.
A rather brilliant idea originally, no doubt, except that males got it into their basic, simplistic brain that since their main asset was raw muscle power, it had to be the ultimate quality by which all was to be measured. Consequence: they got delusions of grandeur. Et voila. Instead of being our docile slave, as you wisely intended, the imbeciles decided to take matters into their own hands. And since they could do it, why not also push Us Women around, slap us, rape us, and more generally speaking, leave most of the unpleasant domestic chores to Us.
As a result, thousands of years of turmoil, wars, massacres, looting, useless destructions, and senseless oppressions. Look at Your lovely planet now: a mess. A complete mess. Yes indeed, Mother Nature, size matters. Keep that in mind next time you’re on the drawing board. If you had made us taller, stronger than males, they certainly wouldn’t have dared lift a finger against us. Instead, we would have had, from the start, the docile servants that you had intended for us.
Now, I will concede that all is not that bad really. It was a slight flaw in design, let us avow, and it did have vile consequences. That being said, it’s true that you’ve graced us with such stunning qualities that we are now overcoming this inconvenience. There’s no denying Women still remain the Superior gender, when all is said and done. As I’m sitting here on the couch, I only have to lift My eyes from My notebook and glance down at that docile creature whose been massaging softly My feet for the last hour, or listen to the clatter that comes from the kitchen where My two other slaves are busy with the preparation of My dinner, to see that obviously things are getting back to normal now.
But it did take some time. And we, dominant Women, living happy, fulfilling, contented lives surrounded by our obedient pets, are still the exception. *sigh*
(The above essay was inspired by the late George Carlin: one of My favorite comedians. His brilliance was unmistakable, particularly his sense of human behavior. The inspiration came from his book entitled “When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?” The book was written nearly 10 years ago – – thank goodness some things have changed!)
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